Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large
raging violent river.

Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, God, please give
me the strength to cross the river. Poof!

God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in
about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, God, please give me
strength and the tools to cross the river. Poof!

God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able
to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed; please
give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross this
river. Poof!

He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards
up stream and walked across the bridge.
Oh no not more jokes!!
Visited the local cash point the other day and this old dear was having problems and asked me to help check her balance, I pushed her and she fell over!
As we lay here on the river bank
My hands are all a quiver
As I undid her suspender belt
Her leg fell in the river

(c) P. McCartney 2006
Two friends meet each other on the street. "hello! Where are you coming from?" asked Bill. "Oh, don't ask me! I'm coming from the cemetery. I just burried my mother-in-law" replied Sid. "I'm so sorry!" said Bill, "But why is your face schratched all over?". "It wasn't so easy!" said Sid, "She put on a hell of a fight!"